Showing posts with label Forgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Forgiveness. Show all posts

Friday, March 1, 2013

Waiting for Figs

This Week's Lectionary Passage: Luke 13: 1-9
At that very time there were some present who told him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices.2He asked them, “Do you think that because these Galileans suffered in this way they were worse sinners than all other Galileans?3No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all perish as they did.4Or those eighteen who were killed when the tower of Siloam fell on them—do you think that they were worse offenders than all the others living in Jerusalem?5No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all perish just as they did.”
6Then he told this parable: “A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard; and he came looking for fruit on it and found none.7So he said to the gardener, ‘See here! For three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree, and still I find none. Cut it down! Why should it be wasting the soil?’8He replied, ‘Sir, let it alone for one more year, until I dig around it and put manure on it.9If it bears fruit next year, well and good; but if not, you can cut it down.’”

We spend a lot of time trying to make this faith thing make sense, don’t we?  We try to offer reasons for what happens in our life, the good and the bad.  After all, we surmise, everything has a cause and every cause has an effect.  And so we live under the illusion that somehow we have control over things, that somehow everything in some way has got to make sense.  But truth be known, we really don’t have the answers.  In fact, our lives are really pretty precarious when you think about it and sometimes the answer is just that we have to wait and wonder and be willing to just let God be God.  And repent... 

And then we read this parable of the fruitless fig tree.  The owner waited and waited and no fruit appeared.  So, he got tired of it and told the gardener to cut it down.  After all, nothing was happening.  It was just wasting soil.  But the gardener stopped him, offering to nurture it just a little bit more than it had been, putting fertilizer around it, and waiting just a little bit longer. 

Now, granted, this is not one of our warm and fuzzy passages.  Jesus is not healing or welcoming or feeding a crowd.  In fact, this is downright hard, probably because we find way too much of ourselves in it.  We, too, want so badly to find answers to things that happen in our lives that we often lapse into that same notion of God rewarding and punishing based on what we do that these first century followers did.  After all, what other answer could there be?  And then, the fear factor...if we don't bear fruit, we get cut down?  If we don't repent, we'll die?

Well, do you remember the Book of Job, the quintessential story of all in life that makes no sense at all, that has no answer,  that comes to us from the margins of faith, those places where we’d rather not go?  You remember it…Job, righteous and reverent, loses everything he has.  And most of the book is about his so-called friends and even Job trying to figure out why.  After all, God doesn’t just pull life out from under someone for no reason.  Job must have done something.  He must have not been who he was supposed to be.  The truth is, Job and his friends, like us, I’m afraid, inherited a somewhat myopic world of retribution and distributive justice.  It is hard to imagine a God who loves us just to love us and who, when bad things do happen, when life begins to feel like a whirlwind, appears into the depths of our being to help us stand, to help us walk, and to wait…just a little bit longer.

That’s where that turning, that repentance comes in.  You see, our problem is that we see repentance as a negative thing.  We envision repentance as a change toward being “right” or “moral” or something else that will win us favor with God or rack us up enough points to get us into heaven.  That’s why we sometimes have this Job-like image of God as some controlling entity that pulls some sort of Divine strings based on what we do.  But what kind of God is that?  Repentance is not about losing who you are; it’s not about becoming a puppet of some sort of string-pulling God; it means discovering the wonder of who you are meant to be.

The Greek word that is usually translated as “repentance” is metanoia.  In Classical Greek, it meant to change one’s mind, one’s heart, one’s soul, one’s life.  Penance was not a part of it until later.  We did that to it!  It simply meant to follow a different road.  But, as Jesus said, unless you repent…unless you change course…unless you let go of the life that you’ve created and the image of this string-pulling God that you’ve somehow concocted, and listen to the road that beckons before you, you will remain comfortable and secure and right where you are.  And you will, surrounded by comfort and answers, die!  But, oh, what you will miss!  Frederick Buechner says, “To repent is to come to your senses.  It is not so much something you do as something that happens.  True repentance spends less time looking at the past and saying, ‘I’m sorry,” than to the future and saying, “Wow!” ( Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking (San Francisco:  HarperCollins, 1973), 79.) 

So, what does this have to do with waiting on figs?  It sounds a little bit like a threat.  OK, one more chance you lazy fig tree.  Because if you don’t, you will die and that will be it.  You have one more chance to get it right, to repent, to turn, or, that’s it.  Well, you know as well as I that there are well-meaning people in pulpits all over the world saying exactly that.  You have one more shot!  And that it!  Oh, that’s not it at all!  Read it again.  There’s always another chance.  There’s always someone that will come along to nurture and wait patiently for us to turn, for us to change, for us to see what we’re missing.  You see, there ARE consequences for those who do not repent.  But it has nothing to do with punishment.  It has to do with missing who we’re called to be, missing out on the life that is offered us, missing out on being able to see what God is showing us.  And that, my friends, IS a form of dying.

You know, it’s an interesting thing about figs--the common fig bears a first crop, called the breba crop, in the spring on last season's growth. The second crop is borne in the fall on the new growth and is known as the main crop.  But the fruits cannot happen without the first crop and, likewise, without the last season.  Essentially, the fruit sprouts from a seemingly fruitless crop.  Maybe the gardener saw that.  I think God certainly does.  See God sees things that we miss, things that our eyes, unadjusted as they are to the light, have not seen yet.  God is good at leading us through our darkness and nurturing us over and over again.  The truth is, God is pretty incredible at patiently waiting for figs.

And yet, with all the omnipotence that we imagine God to have, God cannot pull strings.  Because there is one thing that the Almighty cannot do because God in God’s infinite Wisdom placed the power to choose in our hands.  And so God cannot coerce us to love or to serve or to respond.  God cannot force us to see what God is showing us.  And so God waits for figs to bloom and the world to change.  And God holds us and guides us and picks us up off the bottom of our existence time and time again.  There’s always another season.

We read this passage in our Lenten season because it is our season to wake up, to open our eyes, to turn, to love, and to learn that sometimes the world that we see does not make sense.  But it’s not all up to us.  God is waiting patiently for our response.  God knows it’s hard.  After all, it just doesn’t make sense.  We wish it made sense.  G.K. Chesterton said “to let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair.”  You see, God just desires that we love.  And for that God waits.  God knows that there’s always a little bit more time to wait for figs. 

So in this Lenten season, turn toward God and wait for figs.

Grace and Peace,

Shelli

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Shrive

Then Jesus said, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23: 34)

Fat Tuesday, Pancake Tuesday, Mardi Gras, Shrove Tuesday--there are a plethora names for this day.  Most of us understand it as an eat-all-you-can, party-till-you-drop day before we enter our Lenten fast.  So, don your Mardi Gras beads and stuff yourself with rich syruppy pancakes and get it all out of your system.  Right?

Well, at the risk of interrupting your partying, I think it's about something more.  (Don't you hate that?)  The word "shrove" (as in "Shrove Tuesday") comes, sadly, not from the word for over-the-top entertaining but from the English verb "shrive", meaning confess.  (Oh, shoot, you say!)  I know, it's a hard word for us, particularly when we're drowning ourselves in pancakes.  But, yes, it is a day of preparation, a day when we leave behind what we know, those things to which we are accustomed, and begin the journey to the Cross.

It is sad that in our world, there are many of us (Christians, that is) that have equated confession with judgment.  And we want to run from it.  After all, sin is somewhat subjective when you think about it.  Try as we might, there are few "black and whites" when it comes to sin and history has shown that when a culture inflicts that notion, oppression of some type usually results.  So confession becomes a somewhat shaky ground on which we tread.

In Barbara Brown Taylor's book, Speaking of Sin, she says that "sin is our only hope, because the recognition that something is wrong is the first step toward setting it right again."  That is what this day represents--the invitation to set things right, to confess, to shrive.  It is the day to prepare, to begin that long and arduous turn away from who we have made ourselves to be and toward God and God's vision for what we could become.  Forgiveness is not the thing that we are trying to attain.  It is the starting point, a gift from God for those who want to begin again.

So, in the midst of your Mardi Gras wildness and your pancake extravaganzas, as you don your masks for one more hidden transgression, remember to stop, to shrive, to begin the turn.  Lent begins tomorrow.

For this season, I will try (yes I will try!) to post at least a short devotional every day on this blog.  Many of you are part of the email group that gets it every time I post.  (For those who have signed up through this blog, you will get it but for some reason known only to Google, you will get it 12-18 hours later.  Go figure!)  So if there are others that would like to be part of the email group that gets it right away, just email me through the St. Paul's website at stpaulshouston.org.  (Go to "About St. Paul's", then "staff").

Additionally, I am reposting my "Bread and Wine" Lenten blog from several years ago.  It is located at http://breadandwine-lentenstudy.blogspot.com/ or you can let me know if you would like to be added to that email group.

AND another opportunity...I have been posting my Lectionary notes that many of you get emailed each Thursday on http://journeytopenuel.blogspot.com/  It's a once-a-week post but if you're interested, take a look.

Thanks for being a part of my Lenten journey!

Grace and Peace,

Shelli

Friday, March 11, 2011

LENT 1A: Tsinami

LECTIONARY PASSAGE:  Romans 5: 12-19
Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death came through sin, and so death spread to all because all have sinned— sin was indeed in the world before the law, but sin is not reckoned when there is no law. Yet death exercised dominion from Adam to Moses, even over those whose sins were not like the transgression of Adam, who is a type of the one who was to come. But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died through the one man’s trespass, much more surely have the grace of God and the free gift in the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, abounded for the many. And the free gift is not like the effect of the one man’s sin. For the judgment following one trespass brought condemnation, but the free gift following many trespasses brings justification. If, because of the one man’s trespass, death exercised dominion through that one, much more surely will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness exercise dominion in life through the one man, Jesus Christ. Therefore just as one man’s trespass led to condemnation for all, so one man’s act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all. For just as by the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous.

As I watch the news coverage of the tsunami wave rolling across the earth, I am at this moment somewhat painfully aware of how interdependent this whole of Creation is.  The beginnings of an earthquake are probably considered almost nothing, something that on the surface doesn't even matter at all.  And yet what begins as a shift in the depths of the earth, something that seemingly is nothing more than a veritable sigh, releases a force that shakes the earth at is very core, taking life with it, and then sending its waves far beyond itself, to lands that it barely knows.  By the time it gets to our country's western coast in a few hours, it will have pulled all of humanity and all of Creation into its deadly force.  And when it is finally snared by a stretch of calm, peaceful flatlands, its wake will contain pieces of lives that will never be the same again.

In our lectionary epistle this week, Paul mentions sin or some form of it (sinner, transgression, disobedience, etc.) sixteen times by my count.  In fact, five of the mentions are in the first sentence!  Do you think he was trying to make a point?  Sin, I'm afraid, is a fact of life.  It is part of all us.  We claim that perhaps our own sins are not that bad.  You've heard all the claims and the questions:  So, if I don't KNOW I'm sinning, is it really sin?  So which sins are the "unforgiveable" ones? I mean, really, it was only a little sin, just a little "white lie".  Yes, in the big scheme of things, it was probably nothing more than a veritable sigh of a sin.

But in our interconnectedness, sin affects us all.  And even the smallest of sins can release such a force that none of us can control it.  Now don't get me wrong.  I do not in any way believe that "sin" is something outside of us.  It is not a "force to be reckoned with", so to speak.  I'm pretty clear that when I sin, it is me.  It is my bad choice.  It is me that has messed up, that has not honored myself or my place in the beauty of this interconnected Creation, rather than it being caused by some sort of little red man with horns or something.  I am the one to be blamed.  I have to own it.  It is mine.  It is mine, that is, until it is done.  And then it spills into Creation and begins cutting a path with a force more powerful than anything I imagined, a veritable "tsinami" of destruction through this interdependent earth.  (And you thought I spelled the title of this blog wrong!)

But as Paul reminds us, we are forgiven.  We are forgiven with a force greater than any of our sin.  Christ came that we would know that.  I don't really think in terms of Christ forgiving my little white lie.  It's bigger than that.  "Christ came to take away the sin of the earth."  Christ came not to take away the sins, ticking them off one by one or keeping track of whether or not I've reached my quota.  Christ came to take that tsinami away from us, that collective ball of SIN that ravages the earth and leaves destruction in its path.  God does what we cannot.  And in forgiveness, we finally find peace--not innocence, but real peace.  And then we will pick the pieces of our lives up and continue walking with God.

In the Name of Jesus Christ, you are forgiven!

Grace and Peace,

Shelli